Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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