Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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