yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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