She's JV to your varsity
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
