well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
