I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
