It's Friday. Sex?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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