Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
