if you like me you must not know who I am
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize