atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
