Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
