Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
