me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
