Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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