I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
