so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
