Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
