My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
