Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
