She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
