party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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