I accidentally had phone sex last night
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize