spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
