cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
