I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
