sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
