You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
