EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
