I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
