You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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