I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
