I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
