Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
