I think i peed on brittanys purse
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
