we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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