the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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