Pregnant stripper...not hot.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
