Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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