idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she looked like the before picture.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
