take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
