If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
