I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
