I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
no, he came in my armpit
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
