it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
