I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
