lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
