i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The beer is more important than you right now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
