THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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