ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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