i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
