u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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