I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize