i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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