just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
