sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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