You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Jerry, you need to find god
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
