How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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