Your face is a jimmy john
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
