I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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