I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
