My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
