The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize