if you like me you must not know who I am
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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