He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
These tits shall not be calmed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
