I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
