all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I need moral support for this bender
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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