I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We don't watch enough power rangers
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
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